I’m not the mushy-cheesy-feely kind of girl on social media, I don’t post pics of “date nights” or “happy 2nd anniversary” or whatever that’s called. I don’t express my “cute-sy” side or my frustrations on social media when it comes to personal relationships. Never have been, and never planning to. I do, though, have a lot of insights and thoughts, observations and realizations about my romantic relationship. Sounds kinda like an experiment huh? Haha, no. But I’m a curious human being, I try to ask as many questions as I can, and I honestly believe I got this from my grandfather, interviewing almost everyone he could see. But the point is, for the past few days, I’ve realized something.
Being in a romantic relationship with someone involves a certain level of dependency and vulnerability.
I’m not quite sure if that’s the objective term for it, “dependency” but that’s honestly the word I came up with. Thing is, I’ve already started working with another company, a couple of minutes away from the boyf’s office. And I don’t mind not getting to talk to him 24/7 or have all 3 meals in a day with him. All I want is 5-10 mins of catching up, and we’re all good, which is precisely what’s happening now.
It’s a different kind of attachment now since we’re more involved with each other, and not just the “hello how are you, bye see you” thing since we don’t work in the same office anymore and sometimes the mobile signal/internet sucks. Looking at the bigger picture, I realized that opening yourself up to the other person emotionally is hard, in a sense that you would want to share your plans and goals and ambitions and thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams and everything surrounding you — share it with the other person. That’s how crazy it is, if you really think about it. And believe me, I’ve always been the quiet/weird/awkward/semi-sociable type so it’s definitely not a walk in the park! And worse case, what if the other person does not appreciate or understand you? Ah yes, love is very complex yet simple.
So since the boyf has a foot injury, and he can’t walk more than 100 meters, then of course, we have to adjust — no date nights for now, no movie dates, no nightwalks (we walk around the park and talk), no random snack dates for two weeks now. It’s just a different setting when I’m just theorizing it and now that it’s actually happening.
That, I miss.
But of course, relationships aren’t all physical. It also entails understanding and compromise from both your ends *no pun intended*. You can’t be all too selfish because “you’re PMS-ing” and you want some “qtime” with the partner. It just doesn’t work like that.
I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, because even I am having quite the journey here with the two weeks absence. But how about the those couples surviving long distance? Wouldn’t that be fun? That, is an entirely different story. But for now, this is mine.
My take-away from tonight’s soup session with me, myself and I is that – not everything is going to go your way in a relationship. It has to be met in the middle, compromise, give and take. It sounds so cheesy and all, but it’s true.
I hope next week everyone’s feet will be okay.