Where did the last twenty years of my life go by, huh?
I’m not really sure, but I always knew that whatever I did in those years, good or bad, I chose to do it.
So…. summer vacation? I smell 24/7 internet surfing and eating all day! Yes, you are exactly right. I am living the life of a lazy bum. But who isn’t? From the school wreckage that I was the past semester and grades aren’t released yet, I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for what’s worst.
It’s April 5 though, so I guess I’m pretty much unstable on my body clock. I was really hoping I could be real productive this summer, since I did a lot of stress eating and food binging and no exercise, why not spend a few minutes exercising? Meh, plans are all there is.
Being twenty isn’t really bad at all, I mean yeah when your relatives ask you and you awkwardly answer that you’re twenty is kind of strange and you realize you’re not a teen anymore, but who cares? I mean, you can always put a teen in twenty — twenteen.
It’s all a matter of perspective, folks. How you see things definitely influence you. And I’m not saying that to sound mature and all, but yeah, I guess it’s time I be a little more responsible and be aware of what’s happening. So, everyday, my routine starts off with me getting up at almost noon, eating lunch, taking a bath (yay!), then browse articles from day to night, whatever articles they may be, entertainment, news, nonsense stuff, anything at all! I just find comfort in reading interesting things all day. Then I eat.
I sleep like 10 – 12 hours a day, not bad right? Just making sure I gain the sleep I lost a month ago. I watch movies from day until dawn, I’m going to write a post about it soon, so yeah. It’s a casual schedule, in between those are naps and random dance offs in the mirror. Oh yeah, casual.
And then boom, FOOD! I have this weird ritual at night that I eat a spoonful of nutella or two, then I eat a slice of cake or two, then eat junkfood. It’s been crazy. Good thing the cake is gone. So that’s that. I try to think of myself in my school uniform all pudged up and heaving because it’s too tight to breathe in, then I kind just ignore the thought and eat away. But really, I’m promising myself to eat healthy, not less, but healthy. It’s impossible that I eat less food, especially since it’s summer and I’m trapped. We’ll see about that in June.
Solitude. I find myself introspecting usually in the afternoon. I look outside and think of the future. Soon, I’ll have (hopefully) graduated this time next year. And I think to myself, what am i going to do next? When I was in elementary, I was like, yeah there’s high school I don’t need to panic. Then in high school, there’s college so no worry over there. Then college, what? It’s like I’m in the middle of the crowd with ten million pathways to choose from, and I’m worried that if choose wrongly, it’s going to ruin my life and I would be sad if that happens. My cousin just graduated (congrats, ay!) and it got me thinking. Sometimes too, I think of the places I could travel if I had money. But I really hope someday that dream will be in realization. Que sera, sera?
I dream of the places I’ve never been in. I feel at home to places I’ve never step foot in. It’s amazing how I love to travel. I mean, i don’t explicitly say that to my parents, but it’s difficult. No words could define how I would want to travel, anywhere, everywhere! And now that I’m 20 and I guess, pretty mature, I thought of it. And it’s kind of a relief to me, reaching this age means that I am closer to getting what I really want, travel the world. Fingers crossed!
So, this is so far what I did on the first of summer. Pretty soon, I’ll look like a weird twenty-year old, all brown and flaky from the beach. But hey, that’s what summer’s about right?
PS: I’ve been listening to this band called Daughter. I love their songs. Reminds me so much of how I feel when I’m all snuggled in my bed, with my earphones and laptop. It’s all good.