“I can’t do this anymore. I’m leaving.”
“You can’t do that. Not like that. Not like this.”
He gripped my hand so tight I lost control. The glass shattered into pieces as I made my way.
“If you leave right now…..if you leave, I swear.. I swear, you can’t come back!!” he screamed.
“Then good! All these years I wanted you to say that to me! Right in front of my goddamn face! And finally, you said it.”
“Wait.. you know I don’t mean that…” he slowly made his way to the doorstep, where I was clenching my fist, tears falling, nothing ever changed in this world, except for these tears.
The silence was deafening and the walls grew thin. It was like our breaths were concealed into one giant bubble vacuum. I kept my mouth shut, of course.
I sat down in one of the purple wooden chairs we used to make fun of in the local market, but two weeks later he bought it home.
I sigh. “How did we even get here? Last year, things were wonderful. Everything was as it should be. And this? this fight that we’re having? We could’ve gone out to eat dessert wasting time like this. What happened?” I puzzle myself trying to answer these riddles.
It was the longest one minute of my life.
“I don’t know. Life….life happened. I know I can’t turn back time. But this is it. This is our life. And struggle is part of life. I know you know that. Maybe it’s just not…”
“No… no that’s not it. Everyday we go to work, eat lunch, get dinner and go home everyday for the past year. You may think this is fine, but it isn’t. At least not for me…”
“So what do you want? Do you want fancy dinners? Do you want out of town adventures every weekend? Do you want piggyback rides and red cowboy boots? Is that it? Do you want over the top surprises every god damn night?! Do you want me to get you a blue french horn or an entire…”
“No!! No! I want real! I want real. I want to know how you feel about that poor old man begging in the streets while we’re eating cheap noodles. I want to know what you dreamed of the night your grandma died. I want to know how angry you felt at that cashier by the store because somebody swore at her! I want real. I want real. I want to know how your day went, every detail, every rant, every single one, even the shittiest ones. I don’t want fancy dinners or romantic adventures. I want real. I choose real. Any day.”
……I shut the door behind me that night.